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Things that Lionel Messi follows: a romance of 140 characters (or less)

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Written in the stars.
Written in the stars.
Michael Regan/Getty Images

It took less than 48 hours for the January transfer window to kick things into ludicrous-silly gear.  After Barca legend Lionel Messi missed an open training session (because, you know, Barcelona said on Sunday that he will miss it due to a stomach ailment), and Barca legend and sporting director Andoni Zubizarreta was sacked (and his assistant and fellow Barca legend Carles Puyol revealed that he also handed in his resignation, a decision of which he informed the club a few days ago), and rumors of a two-match ultimatum for Barca legend and current head coach Luis Enrique started flying, the real bombshell dropped.

That's right, with one tap of his finger, Lionel Messi drove the football world crazy.  As if his feet weren't dangerous enough!  (On a sidenote, is the Barcelona president cleaning house, omertà-style?  But you never go against the family!)

Of course, now that Lionel Messi follows Chelsea's official Instagram account (as well as the accounts of Cesc Fàbregas, Thibaut Courtois, and Filipe Luís) his transfer to Stamford Bridge is surely just a few hours away.  Unless of course...

...he joins his good friend Sergio Agüero at Manchester City instead (a team he also follows on Instagram)!
...he takes a detour into a tennis career (with his buddy Roger Federer, whom he follows on Instagram)!
...he gives up this silly football life to become a fashion model (sure to make many appearances on Dolce & Gabbana's Instagram, an account he follows)!
...he makes a quick cash grab, after taxes of course, with celebrity boxing (against Floyd Mayweather, whom he follows on Instagram!)
...he proves that height is but a number by joining Spurs (no, the other Spurs, the one in San Antonio where Manu Ginobili -- another Instagram follow -- plays)

And then we haven't even looked into his Twitter and Tumblr follows, Facebook and Snapchat friends, and which club's badge he just pinned to his Pinterest.

Others added this ridiculous rumor by pointing out that Messi's girlfriend and Cesc Fàbregas's wife are, like, BFFs, and that Cesc himself said that he'd love to have Messi at Chelsea not too long ago (presumably because, maybe, just maybe, having the best player of all time play for your team is, like, a good thing or something).  And despite Mourinho pouring everything cold possible on all this way back in November, it's obviously about to happen right now.

So, get ready Stoke City fans.  We'll finally get to know the answer to THE question.  And it won't be 42.