The Daily Hilario: Thursday, again

CRISIS:

Thursday continues to be the worst day.  And I'm all out of beer.

IN OTHER NEWS:

Richard Sherman v. Tom Brady | SB Nation
One of the main stories of this year's Superb Owl.  Bad guy (secret good guy?) v. Good guy (secret bad guy?), one of the main stories of this year's Superb Owl.  On a related note, on tonight's NFL Turning Point (NBCSN), there was a hilarious video bit on Belichick v. Carroll, on how they're exactly the same while also being polar opposites.

Torres scores against Barcelona again | SB Nation
Alas, Atlético lost.  Arda Turan did throw a shoe, so that's something at least.

Second place in ACN, Group D to be decided via random draw | SB Nation
More importantly, Ivory Coast have advanced to the knockout round.

The 50 Best First Sentences in Fiction | Gawker
"It was a dark and stormy night..."

FOOTBALL (all times GMT):
19.00:  Copa del Rey, quarterfinal 2nd leg:  Getafe vs. Villareal (0-1 agg.)
19.45:  Johnstone's Paint Trophy, semifinal 2nd leg:  Bristol City vs. Gillingham (4-2 agg.)
21.00:  Copa del Rey, quarterfinal 2nd leg:  Athletic Bilbao vs. Málaga (0-0 agg.)
21.00:  Copa del Rey, quarterfinal 2nd leg:  Sevilla vs. Espanyol (1-3 agg.)