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The Daily Hilario: Matchweek 6

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Your daily dose of off-topic shenanigans. FOOTBALL!

Peter G. Aiken-USA TODAY Sports

4th vs. 7th:  Avalanche vs. Dynamo Hawkeye
9th vs. 6th:  Haz Mat Suits vs. Cahill for Jesus
12th vs. 11th:  West Staines Massiv vs. DP's All-Stars
8th vs. 10th:  Silent James & the Falcao Punch vs. In Hazardous Kompany
2nd vs. 5th:  Langers Athletic vs. Mother Hen Mourinho
3rd vs. 1st:  B Tret vs. Cesc-y Jonjo Shnoz

Henry Hotspur's Hard Pressed (for) Cider | Trader Joe's(?) -- I don't actually recommend you drink this.  But it is just $3 for a 22oz. bomber, and it's not overly sweet like that damn Smith & Forge.  I mean it's a little sweet, but it's bearable.  I'm not exactly gonna run out and buy the rest of the local stock, but if I do find myself lost and at a Trader Joe's (which is apparently the only place selling it; so I guess it's "organic" and such?), maybe I'll give it another shot.  This must be their cider equivalent to Two (or Three) Buck Chuck.

ENGLAND (all times BST):
11.00:  U18 Premier League, 5th(S) vs. 2nd(S):  Tottenham Hotspur U18 vs. Chelsea U18 (hey, that's us)
12.45:  Premier League, 11th vs. 14th:  Liverpool vs. Everton
14.00:  U21 Premier League D1, 12th vs. 1st:  Leicester City U21 vs. Chelsea U21 (hey, that's us)
15.00:  Premier League, 1st vs. 3rd:  Chelsea vs. Aston Villa (hey, that's us!)
15.00:  Premier League, 15th vs. 7th:  Crystal Palace vs. Leicester City
15.00:  Premier League, 10th vs. 6th:  Hull City vs. Manchester City
15.00:  Premier League, 12th vs. 8th:  Manchester United vs. West Ham United
15.00:  Premier League, 2nd vs. 18th:  Southampton vs. QPR
15.00:  Premier League, 17th vs. 5th:  Sunderland vs. Swansea City
17.30:  Premier League, 4th vs. 9th:  Arsenal vs. Tottenham Hotspur


ELSEWHERE (all times BST):
14.30:  Bundesliga, 13th vs. 8th:  Schalke 04 vs. BVB
14.30:  Bundesliga, 15th vs. 4th:  Freiburg vs. Bayer Leverkusen
14.30:  Bundesliga, 9th vs. 1st:  1. FC Köln vs. Bayern Munich
15.00:  La Liga, 7th vs. 6th:  Villareal vs. Real Madrid
16.00:  Ligue 1, 10th vs. 4th:  Toulouse vs. PSG
17.00:  La Liga, 2nd vs. 8th:  Barcelona vs. Granada
17.30:  Eredivise, 16th vs. 17th:  Dordrecht vs. Vitesse
19.00:  La Liga, 5th vs. 3rd:  Atlético Madrid vs. Sevilla
19.45:  Serie A, 11th vs. 1st:  Atalanta vs. Juventus
03.30 (next day):  USL Pro Championship:  Sacramento Republic FC vs. Harrisburg City Islanders (watch live)