This really is just an excuse to sit back, relax, and admire Diego Costa's hat-trick over and over and over and over. That's not to say that Cesc Fàbregas (two assists), Eden Hazard (three secondary assists), Ramires (game-changer) aren't worthy of singled-out praise, but there's plenty of time for that before we play again on Wednesday.
First, let's go to the man with the plan, The Special One. What does he think of Diego's special performance?
"He is one of the best strikers at this moment in football. He is a special player."
-Jose Mourinho; source: BBC
And you know Jose doesn't just throw 'special' around willy-nilly. Diego Costa is not one out of the bottle. Even if he can't possibly continue at his current Fibonaccian pace of scoring goals.
"If the team plays well [Costa] has to score goals. Seven goals in four Premier League matches are maybe too much - we cannot expect him to have 14 goals after eight matches. It surprises me because it's not normal - you cannot repeat it in a cyclical way."
"He's comfortable in the team. I think now everybody knows Chelsea did the right thing in waiting for him and not going to the market in the last summer of 2013 or in January this year, just to buy a striker."
"If he keeps scoring a few goals, a few goals gives points and points help the team to be in the top part of the table."
-Jose Mourinho; source: Chelsea FC
And if he keeps scoring hat-tricks, we'll have the league wrapped up by Christmas.
DIEGOOOOOAL, THE FIRST:
The best part is how he doesn't even need to jump, thanks the defender being fully occupied with Branislav Ivanovic who's practicing a strange ManBearian form of ballet in order to try to win a penalty kick. He's a peacock; you gotta let him fly. The way the Swansea defender looks around completely befuddled afterwards says it all, really, "thanks for helping me out guys, I'll just mark ALL the players next time by myself."
DIEGOOOOOAL, THE SECOND:
This one's the one you frame and put up on the mantle. The interplay between Hazard and Fàbregas, the way Diego Costa finds the space (or lets the space find him, in this case), and of course the pin-point pass from one Chelsea new boy to another... it's wonderful beyond words.
DIEGOOOOOAL, THE THIRD:
The icing on the cake. Ramires was probably shooting but appeared to be affected by the same strange Brazilian Shooting Disease that's causing Oscar to scuff all his shots. Fortunately, we have a striker who makes his living in the penalty box (26 of 27 goals last season coming from within the area was the stat trotted out) and he just happened to be on hand to slide the ball home. Easy as you like. Winner, winner, clear at the top of the table dinner!
- Diego Costa is the first Chelsea player to score in each of his first four games for the club since Jack Meredith in 1928. Unfortunately for Meredith, who would retire soon after, he scored just 2 more while making 23 appearances in total for the club.
- Diego's also just the second player in Premier League history to score in each of his first four games in the league, joining Micky Quinn who did it for Crystal Palace in 1992. Quinny would go on to score 10 in his first 6 and finish the season with 17 goals in 26 appearances.
- Not including Chelsea, only three teams in the Premier League (Southampton, Swansea, Everton) have scored more goals than Costa has all by himself so far.
*Courtesy of Twitter and TheChels.