The Daily Hilario: Opening weekend-ish

WHOAH...WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

Welcome to opening weekend in a few places other than the Premier League, including the Championship (with lots of Chelsea loanees), that one league won by PSG, that other league won by Celtic, and the Eredivisie where Chelsea B ply their trade.  Are we ready for some football?  Maybe?

Also, Ted Lasso is back:

MUCH MUTU ABOUT NOTHING

Bad hair-dos aren't confined to just football | SB Nation
Take a bow, Coco Crisp.  Take a bow.

PSG won Ligue 1 in just 406 seconds | SB Nation
ZLATAN'd.

UEFA hates Poland or some such | SB Nation
What we've got here is, a failure to communicate.  And a failure of common sense, too, but that's probably expected.

Peter Capaldi's Doctor's going to be amazing | io9
YES.  Bring on the dark side!

FOOTBALL (all times BST):
15.00:  Championship, opening weekend:  Middlesborough vs. Birmingham City
15.00:  Championship, opening weekend:  Derby County vs. Rotherham United
15.00:  Championship, opening weekend:  Brentford vs. Charlton Athletic
15.00:  Friendly:  HJK Helsinki vs. Barcelona
17.15:  Championship, opening weekend:  Ipswich Town vs. Fulham
17.30:  Friendly:  Tottenham Hotspur vs. Schalke 04
19.45:  Eredivise, opening weekend:  NAC Breda vs. Excelsior
20.00:  Ligue 1, opening weekend:  SC Bastia vs. Olympique Marseille
04.00 (next day):  USL Pro, 3rd vs. 7th:  Sacramento Republic FC vs. OKC Energy

TORRES THE DAY!