The Daily ???: CRISIS, IDENTITY CRISIS, IMPORTANT IDENTITY CRISIS

Grieve with me, brothers and sisters.  Our great Hilario is gone.

No, not gone-gone.

Just gone.

He saddled up his horse and rode out of the city; he made a lot of noise, cause goalies are so prettttyyyyyy...

Actually, he's just retired from playing (well, "playing") and now continues the coaching role, which he's basically been doing for the past couple years anyway.

And so, our greatest fears realized, the daily off-topic thread has been left udder-less, rudderless.  If we can't pray to our Hilarionic gods, what reason could we have for living?!

Basically, we need a new name.

Before I open it up to a non-binding vote, I'd like to solicit you (yes, YOU) for ideas, suggestions, and various other nonsense that I'm sure to ignore just like last time.  But, here's your chance to feel important.  Don't you want to feel important?  We're not ants!  It's important to feel important, considering the important cosmic deathrattles that are happening in the wake of Hilario's important retirement.

So, dazzle me, unwashed masses.  Dazzle me with your clever wordplays.  Dance puppets, dance!

Also, I saw Guardians of the Galaxy, and it was fun.

Also, I watched the latest episode of the Leftovers, and it was emotional.

Also, new Hearthstone wing opening tonight!  Mmmm... Spectral Knight... COME TO PAPA.

FOOTBALL (all times BST):
19.00:  Friendly:  Napoli vs. Barcelona
19.00:  Friendly:  Galatasaray vs. Atlético Madrid
02.30 (next day):  MLS All-Star Game:  MLS All-Stars vs. Bayern Munich