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The Daily Hilario: Matchweek 3

Your daily dose of off-topic shenanigans. And now back to the football.

Fatty McFatterson
Fatty McFatterson
Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

Let's have some football with our football transfers, shall we?  I know, I know, it's a necessary evil.  But soon we shall be back to buying and selling and transfer deadline day-ing.  Until then, let's enjoy.

BUT FIRST, A BASEBALL STORY:

Seattle's Jesus Montero was involved in an altercation during short-season Everett's game at Boise on Thursday. The first baseman exchanged words with a Mariners crosschecker and reportedly had to be physically restrained while attempting to enter the stands with a bat during the argument.

Montero was coaching first base, and at the end of an inning, the unidentified crosschecker yelled at him to hustle off the field, according to Boise official scorer Liza Safford. Montero then headed to the AquaSox dugout on the third-base side.

According to a game offical, the crosschecker then ordered an ice cream sandwich and had it sent to Montero in the dugout, escalating the confrontation further. The official said Montero -- who arrived at Mariners Spring Training 40 pounds overweight this season -- approached the stands with a bat while screaming profanities and threw the sandwich at the crosschecker. Montero had to be pulled back from the stands by Everett pitching coach Nasusel Cabrera, Safford said.

Oh, Mariners.  Fortunately Montero is a useless, PED'd pile of giant pile-ness.

FOOTBALL (all times BST):
12.00:  U18 Premier League:  Leicester City U18 vs. Chelsea U18 (hey, that's non-televised us)
12.15:  Championship:  Sheffield Wednesday vs. Nottingham Forest
12.45:  Premier League:  Burnley vs. Manchester United
14.30:  Bundesliga:  Wolfsburg vs. Eintracht Frankfurt
15.00:  Premier League:  Manchester City vs. Stoke City
15.00:  Premier League:  Newcastle United vs. Crystal Palace
15.00:  Premier League:  QPR vs. Sunderland
15.00:  Premier League:  Swansea City vs. WBA
15.00:  Premier League:  West Ham United vs. Southampton
16.00:  Ligue 1:  Monaco vs. Lille
17.30:  Premier League:  Everton vs. Chelsea (hey, that's us!)
17.30:  Bundesliga:  Schalke 04 vs. Bayern Munich
19.45:  Serie A:  Roma vs. Fiorentina
20.00:  La Liga:  Atlético Madrid vs. Eibar
22.00:  La Liga:  Espanyol vs. Sevilla

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