Oooh, it's an exclusive! An EXCLUSIVE, I tells ya. That's how you know it's true.
Please let it be true...
Obviously this exit will be made on a fast horse, with Fernando clad in purple. Stylish.
In case you don't have something exponentially better than 20/20 vision, the blurry words underneath the intriguing headline read a little something like this:
Fernando Torres could leave Chelsea after the Stamford Bridge club held talks about a swap deal with Mattia Destro of Roma, one of the most coveted strikers in Europe.
Having secured a method of transportation (a magnificent thoroughbred), appropriate dress (imperial purple is the traditional color of Rome), and the best negotiators in all the land (the Bridge Club of Stamford, who meet twice a week for some card-playing goodness), Fernando Torres will finally be allowed to leave Chelsea!
Chelsea's proposal is that they would sign Destro, the Italy striker who is valued at £20 million, and allow Torres to move on loan to the Italian club for the season.
Apparently Roma director Walter Sabatini flew to London just to play some cards at the Stamford Bridge Club, and in a break between games, they hashed out this amazing deal.
And there was much rejoicing.