The Daily Hilario: Quite real Fantasy growing pains

LAMPARDON THE INTERRUPTION:

I never imagined that the first season of the Real Fantasy Football League (now with added reality) would go super smoothly, but unfortunately they look to be having more than their fair share of early growing pains.  Well, at least I'm hoping they're just early ones.  I'm a patient man (occasionally), but I definitely don't like being frustrated by ineptitude and stupidity.  Sort it out, please.

If you can make sense of the league table (what happened to head-to-head?), feel free to enlighten me.  And what do they mean when they say that auto subs haven't been implemented for Week 1.  Are they going to be?  Or are they just gonna make me miss out on 5 points from Agüero??!

Hmmmm...

FIVE GOOD MINUTES:

Leave it to the Cubbies to fail harder than the RFF guys above | SB Nation
Many of my friends are SF Giants fans.  Even they called it a disgrace, and they were losing!

An epic goal that Demba Ba almost scored against Arsenal | SB Nation
So close!  I used to play with a guy who'd attempt that on almost every kickoff where he'd see the goalkeeper wander too far out.  He even scored a couple times!  That wasn't exactly Champions League football of course.

Adidas bringing classy, sexy back | SB Nation
In related news, one of the studs broke off the pair that I just bought a few months ago, so I'm not entirely happy with the company right now.  That can change once we see how they respond to my email complaint.

David Beckham has the biggest... | SB Nation
...ice bucket.

California drought approaching crisis levels | Washington Post
Yeop.  Fun times ahead, especially for farmers.  We're under restrictions, but as the article points out, urban water use accounts for just 9% of the total.  Real effects will only be seen in agricultural or industrial application changes...

FOOTBALL (all times BST):
19.45:  Champions League, playoff first leg:  Standard Liege vs. Zenit St. Petersburg
19.45:  Champions League, playoff first leg:  Lille vs FC Porto
19.45:  Champions League, playoff first leg:  Slovan Bratislava vs. BATE
19.45:  Champions League, playoff first leg:  AaB vs. APOEL
19.45:  Champions League, playoff first leg:  Maribor vs. Legia Celtic
20.00:  Championship:  Fulham vs. Wolverhampton Wanderers 
03.30 (next day):  USL Pro:  Sacramento Republic FC vs. Wilmington Hammerheads