:format(webp)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/36869558/453530666.0.jpg)
If all bets are off, then there can't be any money, can there?
It's that time again, people. Time for the wise wordsmiths of We Ain't Got No History to predict the future - and in the process, make complete asses of themselves.
With a new season comes predictions. You know this. Most are terribly inaccurate, nearly all are at the very least supremely entertaining.
Since we started predicting thangs as part of our season preview packages, no one has been able to master the art of the league table. Quite the opposite, in fact. Last term was particularly egregious, with Spurs and David Moyes' Manchester United firmly entrenched in many top fours. Though most (five of eight panelists) backed Manchester City to secure a second Prem crown in three seasons, only one prognosticator - this guy - managed to successfully predict a relegated club. A quick number crunch tells me that's a prediction rate of .04 percent. Somebody call my bookie.
Whether this season brings with it improvement remains to be seen. History suggests there's not a chance in hell, and, well, history is bloody right.
Well, that's enough mindless ramble from me. On with the predictions - enjoy, and don't forget to tell us how you think the league will play out in the comments section.
| Graham | Aidan | Jake | Peezy |
| 1. Chelsea | 1. Chelsea | 1. Chelsea | 1. Chelsea |
| 2. Manchester City | 2. Manchester City | 2. Manchester City | 2. Manchester City |
| 3. Arsenal | 3. Arsenal | 3. Arsenal | 3. Arsenal |
| 4. Manchester United | 4. Manchester United | 4. Manchester United | 4. Manchester United |
| 5. Liverpool | 5. Liverpool | 5. Liverpool | 5. Liverpool |
| 6. Tottenham | 6. Tottenham | 6. Everton | 6. Everton |
| 7. Everton | 7. Everton | 7. Tottenham | 7. Who Cares |
| 8. Who Cares | 8. Newcastle | 8. Newcastle | 8. Who Cares |
| 9. Who Cares | 9. Stoke City | 9. Swansea City | 9. Who Cares |
| 10. Who Cares | 10. Southampton | 10. Southampton | 10. Who Cares |
| 11. Who Cares | 11. West Brom | 11. Stoke CIty | 11. Who Cares |
| 12. Who Cares | 12. Sunderland | 12. Crystal Palace | 12. Who Cares |
| 13. Who Cares | 13. West Ham | 13. West Ham | 13. Who Cares |
| 14. Who Cares | 14. Hull City | 14. QPR | 14. Who Cares |
| 15. Who Cares | 15. Swansea City | 15. Hull City | 15. Who Cares |
| 16. Who Cares | 16. Crystal Palace | 16. West Brom | 16. Who Cares |
| 17. Who Cares | 17. Burnley | 17. Aston VIlla | 17. Who Cares |
| 18. Leicester City | 18. Aston Villa | 18. Sunderland | 18. Southampton |
| 19. West Brom | 19. Leicester City | 19. Leicester City | 19. QPR |
| 20. Burnley | 20. QPR | 20. Burnley | 20. Burnley |
| Stephen | Jack | Kevin | Tim |
| 1. Chelsea | 1. Chelsea | 1. Chelsea | 1. Chelsea |
| 2. Manchester City | 2. Manchester City | 2. Manchester City | 2. Manchester City |
| 3. Manchester United | 3. Manchester United | 3. Manchester United | 3. Manchester United |
| 4. Arsenal | 4. Arsenal | 4. Arsenal | 4. Arsenal |
| 5. Liverpool | 5. Liverpool | 5. Liverpol | 5. Liverpool |
| 6. Tottenham | 6. Everton | 6. ^ | 6. Tottenham |
| 7. Everton | 7. Tottenham | 7. | | 7. Everton |
| 8. Sunderland | 8. Stoke City | 8. | | 8. Newcastle |
| 9. Swansea City | 9. Newcastle | 9. HIC | 9. Stoke City |
| 10. Newcastle | 10. Southampton | 10. SUNT | 10. Hull City |
| 11. Stoke City | 11. Sunderland | 11. DRACONES | 11. QPR |
| 12. Aston Villa | 12. Swansea City | 12. | | 12. Southampton |
| 13. West Ham | 13. Crystal Palace | 13. | | 13. Hull City |
| 14. Leicester City | 14. QPR | 14. | | 14. Aston VIlla |
| 15. QPR | 15. West Ham | 15. v | 15. Crystal Palace |
| 16. Crystal Palace | 16. Hull City | 16. Stoke City | 16. West Ham |
| 17. West Brom | 17. West Brom | 17. West Brom | 17. Leicester City |
| 18. Southampton | 18. Leicester City | 18. QPR | 18. West Brom |
| 19. Hull City | 19. Aston Villa | 19. Crystal Palace | 19. Swansea City |
| 20. Burnley | 20. Burnley | 20. Burnley | 20. Burnley |
Part deux coming soon...