Yaya Toure confirms he won't be leaving Manchester City

The Yaya Toure to Chelsea rumours were never much more than background noise amidst the general buzzing of transfer season. But since they were funny, now they're definitely dead it's probably worth commenting on them. First, the manner of death:

The fans have always been good to me, they’ve always been good to my family. I want to stay. I will always honour my contract. I don’t think about all this speculation. It’s a big pleasure to stay and enjoy the next season.

Source: Guardian.

Remember, two months ago Yaya Toure was complaining that Manchester City weren't nice enough to him on his birthday and that therefore he wanted to leave the club. They weren't nice enough to him on his birthday! Had he actually left City, it would have been the silliest transfer in the history of transfers, especially considering he's already one of the highest paid players in the world. I'd be totally fine with everyone skipping my birthday if I was on a few hundred thousand a week.

Anyway, Chelsea were mentioned as a potential destination because there are only a few clubs in Europe who could even theoretically pay Toure the wages he's on/after, but the rumour never really made much sense, fun as it would have been to have him alongside Nemanja Matic and crushing everyone in his path. City didn't want him to go, nobody else wanted to give him a raise, and at the end Toure's backed down.

I sincerely hope he is mocked forever more for this, though. We can't let The Cake Episode fade into the past.