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Buy all the Atletico Madrid players!

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I believe this rumor THIS much.
I believe this rumor THIS much.
Gonzalo Arroyo Moreno

Diego Costa?  Inevitable; check.
Tiago?  Don't get me started; check.
Thibaut Courtois?  Details; check.
Filipe Luís?  Step right up!

Chelsea have stepped up their bid to sign Atletico Madrid left-back Filipe Luis and are prepared to offer the Brazilian a salary of £78,000 a week to convince him to move to Stamford Bridge.

The 28-year-old has a £19.5m buy-out clause in his contract and Chelsea are set to make an offer close to the asking price which would spark a busy summer of spending at the Bridge.

-source: Evening Standard

Not sure where Simon Johnson is getting his information from, but the general gist of his report is matched in the Guardian as well.  And possibly, probably elsewhere as well; I didn't really both to check.  At least it's not another Chelsea-PSG switch rumor, though the annoyance level is creeping up there.  Let's just buy all the Atléti players and get this over with, shall we?  Mourinho & Simeone could just forces, too, and rule the galaxy together like surrogate father and surrogate son.  Until one of them chops off the other's hand.

Here are the facts on Filipe Luís, whom I already dislike for his impostor name.  He turns 29 this summer.  When was the last time Chelsea spent anywhere near £20m on a non-striker in his late 20s?  Put your hands down, Anelka, Crespo, and Hasselbaink.  I'll save you the trouble of looking it up.  Never.  I think Yuri Zhirkov (26 and £18m) might be the closest.  Or Claude Makélélé (30 and £17m).  So that's already casting a bit of a doubt on this whole story, unless Filipe Luís is about the redefine the entire position and create the Luís-role at left back.

Additionally, right now, left back is a distant third priority and unless we're talking a player who possesses quality already yet still has room for growth - such as Luke Shaw, Ricardo Rodriguez, Alberto Moreno, to name the three we've been linked with before - I highly doubt we're interested, especially at the prices quoted.  If push comes to shove, I'm quite alright keeping the amazing César Azpilicueta on the left and the rock-steady Branislav Ivanović on the right, backed up by the likes of Van Aanholt, Omeruo, Kalas, Aké, or Kane.

In any case, here's this rumor.  Have at it.