Like they're just missing the last few stickers in the Panini album, Chelsea and PSG are playing swaps. Or so we are led to believe.
PSG were clearly missing a talismanic, yet overpriced defender-midfielder-superhuman, so Chelsea obliged a few days ago. There are rumblings that the Parisians are also missing a Cristiano Ronaldo/Messi-wannabe and a Champions League-winning goalkeeper who wears a funny helmet. But it's not their turn just yet. It's our turn. We get to pick next.
So who are we picking? Could it be a Samson-haired complete forward with chiseled cheekbones? Or perhaps a daring demigod from the fourth dimension who graces this universe with his presence on the football pitch for just a cosmically infinitesimal length of space-time once every Whovian lifecycle? Or perhaps a Ramires Mk.II, now with less stupidity and an upgraded passing module?
Of course not. Apparently we want yet another attacking midfielder.
Chelsea made an enquiry about signing Ezequiel Lavezzi during the negotiations over the transfer of David Luiz to Paris St-Germain.
This would've been an amazing idea two years ago. Now (Lavezzi just turned 29), and for £30m or whatever outrageous sum may be attached to this rumor? Go fish.
(Though don't take this the wrong way; I still love you, El Pocho!)