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This is not a story involving Chelsea, at least not directly. But it is bizarre and hilarious and, if true, offers an insight into just how weird the world of top-level football is becoming. The synopsis: Yaya Toure wants to leave City because they weren't nice enough on his birthday.
That is a sentence to be savoured. Read it again. Let it seep into your bones. Yaya Toure wants to leave City because they weren't nice enough on his birthday. There are quotes -- and they're great quotes -- from his agent, if none from the man himself, who seems to be remarkably insecure for such a successful, famous footballer. The highlights include:
He got a cake but when it was Roberto Carlos's birthday, the president of Anzhi gave him a Bugatti. I don't expect City to present Yaya with a Bugatti, we only asked that they shook his hand and said 'we congratulate you'.
'we congratulate you' for not dying before turning 31.
This isn't about money or a new contract – it's about human relationships and City have shown they don't respect him. I repeat, this is not about money. In fact, he would take less to return to Barcelona.
So yeah. Birthdays matter, everyone. (Speaking of birthdays, it's Petr Cech's 32nd today. Happy birthday, Petr! Get him a Bugatti and a handshake, Roman. That's my advice.) Also, silly season is great.