Man of the Match Fernando Torres scores yet another European goal but Chelsea can't complete the job

For scoring our only goal and at times in the first half actually looking like a bit of a threat, Torres wins his fifth man of the match award of the season, but only his first since the 2-1 home win against Manchester City.

While Eto'o's contribution to Wednesday night's affair was nothing short of shambolic, Torres has clearly fallen down the pecking order over the course of the season, especially once Old Man Samuel got up to - sort of, kind of - Premier League speed.  Should ol' Fernando, by some dastardly circumstance, stay at Chelsea beyond this summer, he will likely fall even further behind both New Signing Striker (Diego Costa?) and Returning Loanee Striker (Romelu Lukaku?).  In that case, we'll be able to dust him off for a few European matches, which have become his forté ever since he scored that goal in Barcelona.  This season he scored 5 in 6 European starts; last season he scored 9 in 15.

If he's lucky, he might even get to 20 Premier League goals for his Chelsea career before the season's out.  All he needs is one!  We're preparing the place right next to Osgood's statue as we speak.

It's not very often you see a player start the game at right wing and end up at left back, but when you're Cesar Azpilicueta, anything's possible.  It's probably just another step in our master plan of fielding a team of 11 Azpilicuetas:  he's got to learn all the positions so that his clones don't miss a beat.

With Eden Hazard not quite living up to the lofty expectations we all set for him after his Newcastle hat-trick, it would not surprise me to see Dave win the fans' or the players' player of the year vote.  Don't forget to cast your vote at the official site before the winners are announced on May 12th.

At the bottom rung of the podium, it's the third man involved in and the secondary assist-maker on our only goal of the game.  Willian tricked two men by the corner flag before somehow magicking the ball to the feet of the timely arriving Azpilicueta.

Willian has journeyed all the way from Dagestan to Stamford Bridge - partly on Spurs' dime - and has worked his way up from sixth choice attacking midfielder to second.  Whether you think he was worth all that money or not, that's still a pretty great accomplishment.