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Why it will never make sense for David Luiz to go

No amount of logic, reason, or money could ever replace Sideshow.


As football fans, we're constantly caught in the crossfire of reason and emotion.  Being a fan, by definition, implies a strong emotional - fanatical, in fact - attachment.  However, since we're blessed with this wonderful brain of ours, we also have the ability to reason and apply logic to any situation.  For example, there's very little I wouldn't give in this world to have my dog live forever, but I know - damn you, brain - I know that he's not immortal and one day we'll have to deal with his loss and move on with our lives.

Similarly, when you apply only cold logic to the David Luiz situation, it makes sense to let him go to the highest bidder assuming - and this cannot be emphasized enough - a proper return in the form of a world class midfielder.  That's what Graham argues in any case, and it's hard to poke any salient logical holes into his case, though I'm not quite ready to consign the keys of our defense over to Gary Cahill just yet.  I still believe David Luiz is our best center back and offers the most Carvalho-esque player since the long-haired Portuguese-speaking creative foil to Terry's solidity himself roamed the green grass of Stamford Bridge.  Our future isn't Cahill and Terry.  It's Cahill for Terry and somebody else next to England's Brave.  And the first choice for that somebody is and should be David Luiz.

The Brazilian's emergence as a proper midfield option next to Nemanja Matic shouldn't be overlooked either, especially with the flagging form of Ramires.  Mourinho said in the winter that he'd never use David there, but he quickly changed his mind after being forced to deploy him exactly in that position against Liverpool.  That's how good of a performance it was.  And it only got better once the big Serbian spider-beasty came back to the club.

Concentration and positioning are the two big knocks against David Luiz, but lining him up next to either Cahill or Terry in defense and Matic or Mikel in midfield mitigates the knock-on effect from that wild streak, while allowing him to unleash his full creative genius in sparking the offense, launching counters, and doing the unexpected.

And speaking of the unexpected, I believe that this question, the David Luiz question, cannot be solved through pure logic alone.  After all, David Luiz is not a logical player.  A player like him should not exist, certainly not at the top level of the game.  Part shaggy clown, part virtuoso genius, part 10-year-old with a Playstation controller, part passionate lunatic, part caring uncle and teammate - and that's just scratching the surface of all that is David Luiz.  A 100% wonderful human being and a ridiculously gifted ball-playing center back, David Luiz is ours and we cannot lose him at any price.

If the metaphysical concept of joie de vivre ever took physical form, we would probably get David Luiz.  A grown man with hilarious hair who lives in a penthouse in central London and has several arcade machines in his home.  Everyone's favorite uncle (especially Willian's kids'), everyone's best man, everyone's favorite geezer.  Eternal optimist, passionate leader, relentless prankster.  The first guy to put his arm around Romelu Lukaku after the missed penalty against Bayern Munich.  The first guy to jump on somebody's shoulder at every goal celebration, his curly mop spread out motionless for a second at the top of his jump.  The man who takes penalty kicks with the power to rip through the net, after taking a run-up from the next post code over.

Ramires's goal celebration dance partner.  Oscar's goal celebration dance partner.  Training ground jokester.  Future captain.  The face that could launch a million new Chelsea fans, the hair that could bring a smile to the saddest of faces, the passion that could move even the coldest of heart strings.  The man who could forgive Sergio Aguero with a wink and a new phrase in our lexicon ("five-second angry").  The man who couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of his friend Rafael kicking him.  The man who lives to love life.

He is simply irreplaceable.

"Enjoy the life."

Please do not take that joy away from me.

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