I tried to ignore this; I really tried.
I told myself that it would be just another episode of David Luiz crying
wolf haircut and then turning up soon after with just a slight trim to his glorious 'do. Troll me once, afro'd Brazilians, shame on you. Troll me twice... won't get trolled again! Right, George?
Upon further, repeated inspection however, it sure looks like that zero-blade is laying waste to a glorious patch of Willian's barnet. You can practically hear the anguished cries of the millions of beheaded follicles.
Perhaps it's the wheels-within-wheels machinations on display as House of Cards plays on my TV or the oodles of Lockdown Stony Bars (on tap, thus a-ok) or a combination of both, but now I'm starting to have a rather ominous feeling about all this. Romelu Lukaku de-tentacled himself in the middle of January and promptly picked up an injury to miss the next month while his host club won just one of five. You have to go back all the way to the middle of 2012 on Wilian's Instagram to find a non-fro. And even then, he had cornrows. If he truly did shave it all off yesterday, we're entering uncharted waters.
But this is no time to enter uncharted waters, Willian! Don't rock the style-boat, we're in the middle of the season. Isn't this one of the first lessons in Football 101!? You fool; you've doomed us all!