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The Daily Hilario: Matchweek 31

Your daily dose of off-topic shenanigans. COME ON CHELSEA!

How you doing, Arsenal?
How you doing, Arsenal?

In the battles we go through life
We ask for a chance that's fair
A chance to equal all our strife
A chance to do or dare
And if we win,
Let it be by the code
With faith and honor held high
And if we lose,
Let us stand by the road
And cheer as the winners go by.
Day by day
We get better and better
A team that can't be beat
Won't be beat.

In other news...

Mercer over Duke was the biggest upset (not the craziest) so far | SB Nation
Though I also enjoyed the part where a #16 directional school was up five over Virginia at the half. Sadly, predictably, that did not last. Meanwhile, the Zags dismissed Marcus Smart United in a game that featured the most fouls in a non-overtime game since 1975. It was a very odd game, but the good guys won. And speaking of Duke, here's a well-prepared fan showing off his "FUCK DUKE" t-shirt on national TV. High five!

Stephen F. Austin over VCU was the craziest upset (not the biggest) so far | SB Nation
I never made it past D3 practice squad in my college basketball career, but even I know it's not Shakasmart to foul - EVER - when you're up four with just seconds left. NEVER EVER EVER! EVER.

All billion dollar brackets are now busted | Bloomberg
This is why Warren Buffet is one of the richest men in the world. The two big upsets (Dayton, Mercer) wiped out 99% (!) of entries.

Still the best alternative bracket: Name of the Year | Deadspin
This one's now managed by Deadspin after years of slumming it on Blogspot.

FOOTBALL (all times GMT):
12.00: U18 Premier League, 4th(S) vs. 11th(S): Chelsea U18 vs. West Bromwich Albion U18 (hey, that's us)
12.15: Championship, 3rd vs. 6th: Derby County vs. Nottingham Forest
12.45: Premier League, 1st vs. 3rd: Chelsea vs. Arsenal (hey, that's us!)
15.00: Championship, 13th vs. 4th: Middlesborough vs. Queens Park Rangers
15.00: Premier League, 19th vs. 2nd: Cardiff City vs. Liverpool
15.00: Premier League, 6th vs. 14th: Everton vs. Swansea City
15.00: Premier League, 13th vs. 16th: Hull City vs. West Bromwich Albion
15.00: Premier League, 4th vs. 20th: Manchester City vs. Fulham
15.00: Premier League, 9th vs. 17th: Newcastle United vs. Crystal Palace
15.00: Premier League, 15th vs. 18th: Norwich City vs. Sunderland
17.30: Premier League, 12th vs. 7th: West Ham United vs. Manchester United
17.45: Eredivisie, 10th vs. 3rd: Groningen vs. Vitesse
20.00: MLS, 4th(W) vs. 9th(W): Real Salt Lake vs. LA Galaxy

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A daily roundup of Chelsea news from We Ain't Got No History