The Daily Hilario: North London Derby, Man U vs. Liverpool, Formula 1

Formula 1 is back! And what a weird way to start the first race of the season! So much confusion, so many unknowns. And then Hamilton? And then Vettel? And Raikkonen's in a Ferrari so how I can root for him? WTF.

And the weird-nosed cars sound like garrrrbaggggge. Sad.

In other news...

Where in the world is/was flight 370? | Bloomberg
US investigators are saying its last location was off the coast of Australia. Others are saying it was off the coast of India. This bizarre story just keeps getting more bizarre by the day.

BANGKOK! | Deadspin
The DEUCE is loose!

DAC 2, Ružomberok 0 | FC DAC 1904
My hometown team has just won back-to-back top flight games for the first time in three years and are six points clear of relegation. Celebrate good times!

Greatest lucky-goal ever | SB Nation
Dare to Zlatan, backheel, dare to Zlatan.

FOOTBALL (all times GMT):
13.30: Premier League, 9th vs. 3rd: Manchester United vs. Liverpool
16.00: Premier League, 5th vs. 4th: Tottenham Hotspur vs. Arsenal
16.00: La Liga, 3rd vs. 15th: Barcelona vs. Osasuna
19.00: MLS, 8th(W) vs. 7th(E): Portland Timbers vs. Chicago Fire
19.45: Serie A, 11th vs. 1st: Genoa vs. Juventus
20.00: Ligue 1, 1st vs. 4th: PSG vs. ASSE