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The Daily Hilario: Twenty-four hours to football

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Your daily dose of off-topic shenanigans.

Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

In tonight's edition of fantastical indoor soccer tales with DPeezy, DPeezy's team gives up two goals in the final three minutes to lose 4-3. The opponents' winning goal comes with two seconds left on the clock.

We shouted at each other for two hours minutes. Then we had some beers. Boo bad football memories. Hurray, beer!

In other news...

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is ten years old | Examiner
Quality movie that has held up really well and still feels fresh.  So says the Examiner and I don't disagree.

Basketball assist of the century | SB Nation
Yep. I would like to know if he called 'bank' though.

2014 Mariners commercials are here! | Lookout Landing
The Mariners suck at baseball. They do not suck at baseball commercials. In fact, they are quite good at it. No Larry Bernandez this year though. Old School Kyle is probably the best one.

Will more people complain about the Brazuca than the Jabulani? | Deadspin
Test reveal that the Brazuca has an aerodynamic profile that closely resembles a "traditional" football. Yey, adidas!

Bayern president Uli Hoeneß sentenced to 42 months in prison | SB Nation
LOL. Is this an example of Bayern doing things the "right way?"

Mesut Özil out for a month | The Short Fuse
Things just keep falling apart over there in Woolwich Islington.

The weird positivity of English television | SB Nation
Andi Thomas is the blogging equivalent of Morgan Freeman. He could write a phone book, and I'd read the shit out of it. My only rebuttal: Gary Neville-gasm, though I'm not sure that's really a rebuttal; more like a fatal symptom.

Why is the 'mor' in 'Voldemort' so evil-sounding? | The Week
What say you, tomriddle?

FOOTBALL (all times GMT):
10.30: Jose Mourinho press conference (live)
19.30: Bundesliga, 6th vs. 4th: Augsburg vs. Schalke 04
19.30: Ligue 1, 7th vs. 6th: Reims vs. Olympique Marseille