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If they had Arsenal's PR...

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Michael Regan

On Tuesday night at the Allianz Arena, Arsenal managed a 1-1 draw against Bayern Munich -- which is to say they lost 3-1 on aggregate and are now out of the Champions League. One might imagine that the Gunners' inability to seriously compete against Europe's best while the tie as in any doubt might have been the focus of a media inquest. But that's not how it goes with Arsenal. Instead we get things like this:

"Arsenal's spirit keeps dignity intact at end of European journey"

And plenty more words about gallantry and doing things the right way on account of not being dirty diving foreigners like Bayern etc. etc. etc.. Which got me to thinking: What if everyone else had Arsenal's PR? What would the headlines look like? Let's do some wondering:

  • Manchester City 1-2 Wigan Athletic: Gallant City unseated by Wigan despite dignified second half
  • Fulham 1-3 Chelsea: Brave Fulham fight through Schurrle hattrick, lose 3-1 at Craven Cottage
  • Chelsea 4-0 Tottenham Hotspur: Spurs lose game but not dignity after Vertonghen dive hands dirty Chelsea the points
  • David Moyes speaks after Manchester United lose on penalties to Sunderland: "I have to say I'm proud of the team. Am I disappointed in today's result? Yes, of course, but at the beginning of the season we were aiming to reach the top four and that we've done so in this competition just shows how much quality we have. It's like a trophy. And I have to say awarding Sunderland all those penalties at the end of the match was a little bit harsh.
  • Tony Pulis discusses Shawcross' sending off against Arsenal: "I didn't see the tackle, so I can't comment."
  • On Luis Suarez: Dignified Luis never bites anyone, most of the time.
  • From @JohnnyUtah100: The Titanic's maiden voyage was 99% perfect.
  • The battle of Cannae: Gallant Roman legions wiped out after underhanded Hannibal plays dirty trick.

Isn't this fun?