Ashley Cole an option for Arsenal? Not so fast...

I was having lunch the other day when my eyes fell upon an almost forgotten, yet familiar face: my crush from university, more beautiful than ever!  We had a thing back then, quite serious.  It ended in tears and anger and I hadn't seen her in almost a decade.  She sat down, all smiles.  We chatted; it was all very exciting.  She asked me for my number.  But I had to tell her:

Honestly, if I needed a wife, then yes.  But I have a wife and you cannot play in any other position.

Despite everything that's happened, yes.  We were all so young; it was just a technicality (area codes, how do they work?).  Apart from that, I don't wonder whether I should give you my number, because I already have a wife.  Have a nice life!

But I digress.

I doubt you'll be surprised that the following comes from the Daily Mail. Although, it is from Neil Ashton, a man whom I've tried very hard to learn to separate from the chaff, considering that he has what kind of appears to be access to (some) inside information. Alas, in a battle of nature vs. nurture, nurture often wins out.

Another big-game snub means Cole's time at Chelsea is over... but don't rule out a shock move back to Arsenal

That's the headline of Neil's latest, wherein he argues that Ashley Cole is done at the Blues, even though none of the body language he's claimed to have observed in the tunnels at the Etihad and brings up as supporting evidence actually support his conclusion. But most of us can easily see Ash saying farewell in a few months, so this isn't that big of a problem.  The problem is the second part.

It wasn't that long ago, after Arsenal's 0-0 draw with Chelsea on December 23, that Arsene Wenger admitted he would take him back.

Asked whether he would be prepared to re-sign a man who forced through a move to Chelsea in 2006, Wenger replied: ‘If I needed a left back, yes.'

Don't rule anything out in this game.

-source: Daily Mail

Bombshell, right? Ashley Cole? Arsenal!? (!!)  Sir Cas$hley Cole of Cashlandia, First of His Name to make glorious return to the one place where he's hated beyond all reason? Sounds a bit fishy, no? So I did a little digging - to the Google search machine! - and a grueling thirty seconds of clicking and two router firmware upgrades later, I found the original source (because linking or at least citing your source is so old school, right, Neil?).

"Honestly, if I needed a left-back then yes. But I have left-backs and he [Cole] cannot play in another position."

"Despite everything, yes. What happened was a difference in negotiation. Apart from that, I don't wonder whether I would sign him or not, because I have a left-back."

-Arsene Wenger; source: West London Sport

Oh, hello there, out-of-context. So lovely to see you.