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The Daily Hilario: Olympics, day 5, as men's hockey starts; Matchweek 26 continues

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Your daily dose of off-topic shenanigans. Welcome to the new tradition.

Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

As much as I love curling, skiing, biathlon, and just about everything else in the Winter Olympics, nothing beat's the men's hockey tournament for drama, expectations, and excitement.  And it starts today!  The puck drops at 12pm EST for both games today:  Czech Republic vs. Sweden and Latvia vs. Switzerland.  That should make for some quality pre-match entertainment before the SAHKERR.

In other news...

Shaun White and the rest of Team USA get shut out of the halfpipe medals | SB Nation
Bow to your new Russian Russian-Swiss and Japanese overlords!  Two "uncharacteristic" mistakes from Shaun in the medal round.  His qualifying round run by itself would've easily won the gold.  On a related note, here's a supercut of BBC's halfpipe commentators, who are amazing, like an alligator giving birth.

It's made with bits of real Iniesta so you know it's good | SB Nation
That's man-sweat, baby.  60% of the time, it works every time.  And it's definitely working on this crazy person.

Westminster dog rankings, 2014: Another tough year for Spaniels | SB Nation
Ranking the Bernese Mountain Dog 28th is like ranking Eden Hazard 100th.

Back to the future with safe standing | Bristol City FC
After passing legal hurdles, Bristol City's Ashton Gate stadium will become the first in the UK with "rail seating" - i.e. "safe standing" - this summer.  Over 2000 capacity planned for the brand new stand.  Yes please!

FOOTBALL (all times GMT):
19.30:  DFB Pokal, quarterfinal:  HSV vs. Bayern Munich
19.45:  Premier League, 2nd vs. 7th:  Arsenal vs. Manchester United
19.45:  Premier League, 14th vs. 12th:  Stoke City vs. Swansea City
19.45:  Premier League, 6th vs. 15th:  Everton vs. Crystal Palace
19.45:  Premier League, 3rd vs. 18th:  Manchester City vs. Sunderland
19.45:  Premier League, 9th vs. 5th:  Newcastle United vs. Tottenham Hotspur
19.45:  Coppa Italia, semifinal 2nd leg:  Napoli vs. Roma (2-3 agg.)
20.00:  Premier League, 20th vs. 4th:  Fulham vs. Liverpool