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Further sordid details emerge over Courtois-De Bruyne tiff

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A terrible cook
A terrible cook
Jan Kruger/Getty Images

This is a story that's one part sordid and about eight million parts hilarious. Be warned.

As most Chelsea fans will be aware, last year there was a rumour that Belgium and kind-of-Chelsea teammates Thibaut Courtois and Kevin de Bruyne had had a bit of a dust-up. Specifically, the allegation went that Courtois stole de Bruyne's girlfriend, and that the world-famous Tin-Tin impersonator was mildly unamused by the whole affair. And then ... nothing.

Until the glorious day in which de Bruyne, now at Wolfsburg, decided to release an autobiography, and said girlfriend, a young woman by the name of Caroline Lijnen, opted to respond. Get the popcorn ready, kids ...

I remained silent over the past year and a half. Not because I wanted to say nothing, because I could not say anything. The parents of Kevin would take legal action if I would tell my version of the story.

In the summer of 2012 I was told that Kevin himself had an affair with my then best friend. I then faced a choice with him. He choose whether for me or for her, I wanted to give him a chance. We have seized that opportunity, but our relationship has never been the same after that.

Source: Voetbal Krant via SportWitness

... go on ...

Thibaut gave me in that one night, what I'd sorely missed for three years with Kevin.

// music dims, funky, steamy music plays

With Thibaut I could have good conversations and he also cooked nicely for me. Such a thing Kevin never did.

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Remember, professional footballers: if you really want to impress the ladies, learn to cook. I really wish Ms. Lijnen had ended the conversation at this point, but she carried on:

And then suddenly we clicked.

// music dims, funky, steamy music plays