Bitter Wenger is the best Wenger

Poor Arsène Wenger.  Poor dignified, classy, principled, everything-that's-good-about-footbal, plays-the-right-way-etc-etc-etc Arsène Wenger.  He must really hate playing Chelsea and Jose Mourinho.  Half a year on from the 6-0 debacle, he's lost the plot even more spectacularly.

In fairness, I suppose, we should give credit to the Premier League's longest-serving manager.  He actually tried to deviate from his dogma (despite pre-match claims to the contrary).  Arsenal played deeper and certainly more physical than I've seen them play in a long, long time.  After all this time and all this talk, Wenger finally gave in and disregarded his own principles to try to get a result at Stamford Bridge and he still failed.  And it wasn't even close in the end; not even a shot on target!  No wonder he was extra bitter today.  And for that we should be grateful, really.  Bitter Wenger is by far the best Wenger.

To the highlights!

Wenger is asked whether he regrets pushing Mourinho. "No. What is to regret after that?"

— Oliver Kay (@OliverKayTimes) October 5, 2014

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have found it.  After a dozen failed attempts at beating Mourinho, he has finally reached his breaking point.

But I agree.  I do not regret the push at all.  I do not regret the hours of entertainment that followed the push.  And I do not regret laughing at the wimpy push itself.  At least extend your arms, Arsène!  You can do it, put your back into it!  I also do not regret the associated Mourinho moment of Jose pointing out just exactly where the technical area was.

Wenger in press conference: "I trust you guys will teach me all the moral lessons for the next three weeks."

— Daniel Taylor (@DTguardian) October 5, 2014

Don't worry, Arsène.  You'll get a few (e.g. ESPN's John Brewin with one of the firsts right here), but nowhere near the amount we would've gotten if the roles were reversed.  Plus, Jose understands so you got that going for ya, which is nice.

Mourinho on Wenger's shove: "The behaviour he has, is the beahviour I have, is the behavior we all have. No problem at all."

— Dan Levene (@BluesChronicle) October 5, 2014

Mourinho on Wenger row: 'To be fair, I have done many wrong things in football. But not this time. I was just in my technical area'

— Sam Wallace (@SamWallaceIndy) October 5, 2014

So, Wenger has no excuse for the push, let's see if he has an excuse for why he failed against Mourinho once again.

It was an even game, but at the end of the day they have financial power and used it in a effective way with players like Diego Costa and Eden Hazard making the difference.

-Arsène Wenger; source: Express

Aha!  Unfortunately Alexis "I must've cost peanuts" Sánchez is busy not being a center forward, so let's go to Mesut "more expensive than either Eden Hazard or Diego Costa" Özil instead for comment.  Or is that Mesut "we don't need Cesc Fàbregas" Özil?