The Daily Hilario: 1000 points

HE IS MARIÁN HOSSA AND YOU ARE NOT:

Marian Hossa just became the 80th player in NHL history to reach 1,000 career points. Congrats, Hoss! pic.twitter.com/QI7mJhOXnm

— Chicago Blackhawks (@NHLBlackhawks) October 31, 2014

IN OTHER NEWS:

A front-line report from The Eternal Derby | SB Nation
i.e. Red Star vs. Partizan (Belgrade).  Go; read.

The gut-punch of a near colossal upset | SB Nation
i.e. Magdeburg vs. Bayer Leverkusen.  Go; read.

Defending champs Sporting KC are out of the MLS Playoffs | Deadspin
Not a good couple days in the City of Kansas.

When in doubt, suplex | Deadspin
That should get the job done, methinks.

FOOTBALL (all times GMT):
12.30:  Jose Mourinho press conference (LIVE)
19.30:  Ligue 1, 8th vs. 14th:  AS Monaco vs. Reims
19.30:  Bundesliga, 12th vs. 9th:  Schalke 04 vs. Augsburg
19.45:  La Liga, 16th vs. 12th:  Deportivo La Coruña vs. Getafe
19.45:  Championship, 6th vs. 22nd:  Norwich City vs. Bolton Wanderers