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The Daily Hilario: Matchweek 9, El Clasico

Your daily dose of off-topic shenanigans.

Denis Doyle

1st vs. 11th:  Avalanche vs. Silent James & the Falcao Punch
5th vs. 12th:  Langers Athletic vs. West Staines Massiv
4th vs. 9th:  B Tret vs. Haz Mat Suits
8th vs. 7th:  Cesc-y Jonjo Schnoz vs. Dynamo Hawkeye
2nd vs. 3rd:  Mother Hen Mourinho vs. Cahill for Jesus
10th vs. 6th:  In Hazardous Kompany vs. DP's All-Stars

What do you mean there's no beer in the house?!  The whole system is breaking down!

ENGLAND (all times BST):
11.00:  U18 Premier League, 1st(S) vs. 6th(S):  Chelsea U18 vs. Fulham U18 (hey, that's us)
12.15:  Championship, 18th vs. 10th:  Millwall vs. Cardiff City
12.45:  Premier League, 4th vs. 2nd:  West Ham United vs. Manchester City
15.00:  Premier League, 5th vs. 11th:  Liverpool vs. Hull City
15.00:  Premier League, 3rd vs. 10th:  Southampton vs. Stoke City
15.00:  Premier League, 17th vs. 7th:  Sunderland vs. Arsenal
15.00:  Premier League, 14th vs. 16th:  West Bromwich Albion vs. Crystal Palace
17.30:  Premier League, 8th vs. 15th:  Swansea City vs. Leicester City

I tried watching this thing called Grand Budapest Hotel.  What a giant waste of time that was.  Yeah yeah whimsy schmimsy.  Not impressed.  At least Steve Zissou had cool hats.

ELSEWHERE (all times BST):
16.00:  Ligue 1, 2nd vs. 3rd:  PSG vs. Bordeaux
17.00:  La Liga, 3rd vs. 1st:  Real Madrid vs. Barcelona
17.30:  Eredivisie, 7th vs. 16th:  Vitesse vs. NAC Breda
19.30:  MLS, 2nd vs. 1st:  Seattle Sounders vs. LA Galaxy
19.30:  Serie A, 3rd vs. 2nd:  Sampdoria vs. Roma
19.30:  Bundesliga, 6th vs. 10th:  Bayer Leverkusen vs. Schalke 04

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