IN MAH MOUF:
I've had a series of life-altering encounters recently. Encounter after encounter with rounded pieces of cookies ended in crumbly slaughter as I devoured an entire package of Oreos. I enjoyed the chocolatey massacre, taking my time over the course of a couple weeks to save each bite. In my defense, these weren't any standard Oreos, which I actually don't like at all. These were Cookie Dough Oreos. Did you hear me, COOKIE DOUGH OREOS. Perfection.
In related news, Red Velvet Oreos are apparently in the pipeline for early next year. Though I don't think they'll challenge the almighty Cookie Dough, they might just become the second Oreo variety that I actually like.
THE FOOTBALL (all times BST):
There are no less than 23 Europa League matches scheduled for today (1 got played yesterday, which explains the odd number). If you're desperate, that is.