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The Daily Hilario: Interesting trades, Toronto FC go ham, Kalou's price set at €87m, Outbreak in Alberta

Your daily dose of off-topic shenanigans. Welcome to the new tradition.

I ain't gonna wash this hand for at least a month!
I ain't gonna wash this hand for at least a month!
Lars Baron

As you can see in the picture above, AVB is back on the campaign trail, shaking hands and kissing babies.  The hands belong to red-jacketed Josep Guardiola, while the babies are not pictured.  The picture was taken at Bayern's traning camp at something called ASPIRE Academy for Sports Excellence, which is an odd name for an establishment that allowed AVB onto its premises.  Wahey!

In other news...

Fort Lauderdale Strikers trade midfielder for travel arrangements and hotel accomodations | SB Nation
It is not known whether San Antonio also threw in a bag of peanuts or perhaps a giant foam finger.  But clearly, the Strikers are run by a creative marketing department of Seinfeld fans.  Interesting trades considered! One of their ex-players is also the bachelor on this season's The Bachelor.

Toronto FC sign Jermain Defoe, probably Michael Bradley, too | Waking the Red
I!  Hope it works out better for them than Dempsey has (so far) for the Sounders.

Summer schedules and winter World Cups | NY Times, SB Nation
Convenient timing from these two.  Bayern chairman Karl-Heinz Rummenigge suggests moving European football onto a summer schedule, while the FIFA general secretary thinks that FIFA will eventually move the Qatar World Cup to winter because, you know, it turns out Qatar is, like, a bit hot in the summer.  Surprise!

Lille president slaps €87m price tag on Salomon Kalou | Le 10 Sport
Yes, it's a joke.  It should be at least €88m!

Three elected to baseball Hall of Fame, as ESPN writer lets Deadspin decide his balott for him | Deadspin
Good for you Dan Le Batard; the whole process is a joke anyway.  Apparently at least one BBWAA (an organization whose email is '') fogey doesn't think Greg Maddux is worthy.  But hey, now that Frank Thomas is in, can we please finally induct Edgar Martinez, too?

Man in Edmonton dies of avian flu | CBC
Ever seen the movie Outbreak?  Yeah.  This is it, man.  Game over, man.

FOOTBALL (all times GMT):
17.00:  Coppa Italia, Round of 16:  Roma vs. Sampdoria
20.00:  Coppa Italia, Round of 16:  Udinese vs. Internazionale (Guarin watch?)
20:30:  Copa del Rey, Round of 16, first leg:  Real Madrid vs. Osasuna

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A daily roundup of Chelsea news from We Ain't Got No History