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The Daily Hilario: 39 shots on Adrian's goal, 39 shots on goal; take one down, pass it around...

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Your daily dose of off-topic shenanigans. Welcome to the new tradition.

Candice Ward-USA TODAY Sports

Hey, did you hear the one about thirty-nine shots?

[Fun.]

In other news...

Here's the hockey equivalent of West Ham's performance | SB Nation
Edmonton's Ben Scrivens - once a part-time injury sub for DP's All-Stars - sets NHL record for most saves in a shutout with 59. Fifty-nine! FIFTY. NINE. The Sharks had 100 shot attempts. Wednesday was clearly a joke by the sports gods.

HOTHLANTA | EDSBS
So, to recap. California is becoming a desert, while it's snowing in Atlanta, and the rest of the country is swallowed in a polar vortex. End of days. Nice to know that there's at least one city that's worse-prepared for snow than Seattle though. Well done, Atlanta.

20 Percent of Neanderthal Genome Lives On in Modern Humans, Scientists Find | National Geographic
They could've found this out earlier had they just read a few Internet comments.

Motley Crue calls it quits, announces 'final' tour | LA Times
Wait, Mötley Crüe were still together?

Yohan Cabaye moves to PSG | SB Nation
Officially official.

Your annual Budweiser puppy/pony Super Bowl ad | SB Nation
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. This was a huge hit with the wife.

FOOTBALL (all times GMT):
19.45: Championship, 5th vs. 16th: Nottingham Forest vs. Watford