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The Daily Hilario: Ten dollar words

Your daily dose of off-topic shenanigans. Welcome to the new tradition.

Ian Walton

Well hello there, episode three of True Detective. I'm so sorry for putting you off for a few days - it's not you; it's me. You deserve better, you magnificent, magnificent hour of TV. Please forgive me. I won't dally ever again. I promise! Even better than episode one. I've got no words.

Oh hey, we got us some Chels tonight, too! It's got dat woop-woo! Like an alarm clock.

In other news...

Aaron Ramsey out for another two months | The Short Fuse
Ramsey hasn't played since Boxing Day. And now he's re-injured himself and won't play for another two months. Now, where are those launch keys for the collapse of HMS Arsenal again? Then again, if Wenger pulls this off, maybe we'll actually respect him a bit. Nahhhhhhh...

Tiger is too ripped and swings like an old man | SB Nation
Do you even lift, bro?

Sacramento might actually build this arena | Sactown Royalty
Fittingly enough, the renderings look fit for a King. Or Kings, in this case. Somehow it still wouldn't surprise me if this whole thing falls through though. A) Nobody cares about the Kings. B) Downtown Sac is a dump. C) California's broke. D) Everybody else is broke, too, including the team. E) Nobody cares about the Kings.

Another awesome longform from the SBN mothership.

One day we should have a Jose Mourinho vs. Mick McCarthy quote-off | SB Nation
"Some people might be frustrated with that result? Some people can fuck off."

FOOTBALL (all times GMT):
19.00: Bundesliga, 12th vs. 1st: Stuttgart vs. Bayern Munich
19.00: Copa del Rey, quarterfinal 2nd leg: Athletic Bilbao vs. Atlético Madrid (0-1 agg.)
19.45: Premier League, 11th vs. 15th: Aston Villa vs. West Bromwich Albion
19.45: Premier League, 19th vs. 16th: Sunderland vs. Stoke City
19.45: Premier League, 3rd vs. 18th: Chelsea vs. West Ham United (hey, that's us!)
19.45: Premier League, 5th vs. 2nd: Tottenham Hotspur vs. Manchester City
19.45: Coppa Italia, quarterfinal: Napoli vs. Lazio
19.45: Belgian Cup, semifinal 1st leg: Gent vs. Zulte-Waregem

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A daily roundup of Chelsea news from We Ain't Got No History