The Daily Hilario: U21 FA Cup quarterfinal match starts a huge week for Chelsea

It's a new days, it's a new week, it might even rain in the next couple days. BOOYAH. Also, Juan Mata will get to play dress-up on Tuesday, so that's something you get to look forward to. But have I told you about the rain? RAIN! I should also warn you that I might die somewhere around the Sunday-Monday timeframe, with the Super Bowl and the City v. Chelsea match separated by just a few, probably quite stupor-filled hours. But have I told you about the rain? A DROUGHTBUSTER! (Not really.)

And don't forget about the U21 FA Cup match today (live on Chelsea TV)! Also, my left shift key is starting to act up. Grrrr.

In other news...

But have I told you about the rain? | Sac Bee
Record-low water levels are enticing people to go look for gold, like back in the olden, founding days of the forty-niners. These people are stupid.

Almost 10% of passengers on cruise ship fall ill form an unknown cause | CNN
I've seen this in a movie once, maybe. The only solution is a torpedo or seven. Make your depth 100, flood tubes 1-7!

Down underdog: Wavrinka upsets Nadal for Aussie Open | SB Nation
Very happy with this, but I've never been a fan of Grunty McGrunt Grunt. Plus, Stanimal has a tattoo that reads. "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail Better." I'd never ink myself out of choice, but if I did, that would be my second choice after Craig Ferguson's "JOIN or DIE" snake tattoo. Though I reserve the right to change my choices on a whim at any given time for future tattoos that I'll never get

Buffalo Sabres could trade Ryan Miller before Olympic break | SB Nation
DPeezy's fantasy hockey teams approve. DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!

Vox is our next | The Verge
The mothership (VOX) of our mothership (SB Nation) are launching a brand new property. And it's going to be about news! Or something. The effort has the Washington Post's Ezra Klein (well, no longer of the Washington Post) on-board as the figurehead. He has a Wikipedia page. They're also taking applications, if this sort of thing may tickle your fancy.

FOOTBALL (all times GMT):
19.05: U21 FA Cup, quarterfinal: Chelsea U21 vs. Arsenal U21 (Chelsea TV)