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The Daily Hilario: Are you ready for some football?

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Your daily dose of off-topic shenanigans. Welcome to the new tradition.

Remember kids: red is evil, blue is good.
Remember kids: red is evil, blue is good.
Michael Dodge

It feels like it's been a lifetime since the last matchday for Chelsea. But today's finally the day. We can stop with the talking, the moaning, the shouting, and the whining and start a whole NEW set of talks, moans, shouts, and whines. Yey!

In other news...

Bryan Oviedo to miss World Cup with double fracture of his left leg | Royal Blue Mersey
If you watched the game, perhaps you won't be surprised that the pitch claimed a victim with such a traumatic injury. Tremendously sad for the young Costan Rican who had stepped up so admirably for Everton this season.

Engage Ovechkin fuck-you-because-I-can mode | SB Nation
I'm not a fan of Alex outside of fantasy hockey, but come on now, that's just ridiculous.

Nintendo cartridge sells for $99k on eBay | Polygon
At the time the article was published, the bidding was still just around $30k. Final price: $99,902. Got any old ones lying around, gathering dust in the back of your closet?

FOOTBALL (all times GMT):
11.30: Eredivisie, 2nd vs. 18th: Vitesse vs. NEC
11.30: Serie A, 6th vs. 2nd: Hellas Verona vs. Roma
13.00: FA Cup, fourth round: Sheffield United vs. Fulham
14.00: Serie A, 14th vs. 11th: Cagliari vs. AC Milan
15.30: FA Cup, fourth round: Chelsea vs. Stoke City (hey, that's us!)
18.00: La Liga, 19th vs. 3rd: Rayo Vallecano vs. Atlético Madrid
20.00: La Liga, 2nd vs. 15th: Barcelona vs. Málaga
20.00: Ligue 1, 2nd vs. 7th: Monaco vs. Olympique Marseille