On Wednesday, the official Chelsea FC website tried to distract us from Matapocalypse with wild stories of David Luiz and words with Samuel Eto'o.
But we saw right through their silly little flanking maneuver, didn't we? Nothing can stop the Matapocalypse! NOTHING! The Matastrophe* is happening! You can't fool us, Mothership Pravda!
* that one's Graham's but I'm stealing it because I'm jealous of it.
Actually, since everybody's taking a breather right now, we can check back in with the David Luiz interview, which is not really an interview, but just part of their "Selector" series - an exercise that looks intriguing on paper but ends up beyond boring in execution. Fortunately, David Luiz is a weird dude, so his answers aren't as boring as, say, Gary Cahill's.
Here's what he had to say for the category of "worst:"
"There are some programmes on TV where people make others look bad and these shows have a big influence on young children. TV shows should focus on good things, such as education and discipline, because nowadays there is so much technology, most kids have smartphones or tablets. Some programmes show bad things and that's not good for the new generation as they are not mature enough to understand."
Without getting into the whole, you know, parenting angle, that sounds incredibly boring. Mind you, this is coming from the guy who's addicted to smartphones, plays Call of Duty (I guess that does check the "discipline" box), and whose place of residence looks like this:
I love you, Sideshow Dave.