The Daily Hilario: The one not about Juan Mata

Hey, did you hear the one about Mata and Manchester United? This is the one place where you don't get to analyze it however hypothetically, or talk about it however logically, or whine about however repetitively. Especially that last one. Especially that last one. Capiche?

In other news...

David Meggett: All-pro running back, serial rapist | SB Nation Longform
Depressing, scary read, in all honesty. Humans, man.

AIR FLOTUS | SB Nation
Michelle Obama, coolest First Lady since Edith Wilson.

Anthony Calvillo, sports' all-time leader of stuff did, retires | SB Nation
He was CFL quarterback for a decade and a half. The CFL is like the NFL, but more fun. This dude amassed 79,816 passing yards, which is probably the highest stat of anything ever in sports.

Papa Boupa Diop trying out for Sacramento Republic FC | SRFC
He's been out of the game for about a year. Apparently he's going to be my local team's star signing for their first season. Awesome.

Lucas Leiva out for two months with ligament injury | Liverpool Offside
Talk about a career continually halted by injuries. His last full season was 2010-11. Sad.

FOOTBALL (all times GMT):
19.45: League Cup, semifinal 2nd leg: Manchester United vs. Sunderland (1-2 on agg.)
19.45: Coppa Italia, quarterfinal: AC Milan vs. Udinese
19.55: Coupe de la Ligue, second round: PSG vs. Montpellier