The Daily Hilario: Matchday 22, True Detective, and everything else that's fit for a lazy Saturday

So I finally got around to watching HBO's new series True Detective. Holy Matthew McConaughey; that is one of finest hours of TV that I've ever seen! It wasn't flashy, it wasn't loud, it wasn't action-packed. But as I sat in my comfy chair, eyes transfixed on the screen, the hours turned to minutes and the minutes turned to seconds. The end credits, much to my chagrin, snapped me back to the real world. I'm hooked.

Also, public service announcement: Rosie's Strawberry Wheat Ale is awful, awful beer. Do NOT drink under any circumstance.

In other news...

Hull City sign Shane Long, become 10x more annoying | SB Nation
The Irish Tévez jumps ship from sinking WBA to put the tiger into the Tigers. Or something.

Sunderland axe their Director of Football | Roker Report
For such a crappy club, they sure keep it interesting up there in the north, don't they? Good luck keeping it together, Gus.

Is Andre Lewis the Mikel of the MLS/NASL? | SB Nation
As if the MLS draft wasn't a silly enough exercise already... The Whitecaps drafted this kid 7th overall. Except he may be under contract with the Cosmos of the NASL already. To quote the boys over at 86 Forever: "the thick leather-bound volume entitled 'How NOT to Run a Football Team' might just have added a few pages again this morning."

Meskoing is the new Tebowing Thibauting | SB Nation
The one and only Romanian-born Hungarian punter in the NFL is awesome.

Feel the rhythm! Feel the rhyme! Get on up, it's bobsled time! (maybe) | SB Nation
'Nuff people say they know they can't believe, Jamaica we have a bobsled team (maybe).

FOOTBALL (all times GMT):
12.45: Premier League, 19th vs. 9th: Sunderland vs. Southampton
15.00: Championship, 4th vs. 6th: Derby County vs. Brighton & Hove Albion
15.00: Premier League, 1st vs. 16th: Arsenal vs. Fulham
15.00: Premier League, 20th vs. 12th: Crystal Palace vs. Stoke City
15.00: Premier League, 2nd vs. 18th: Manchester City vs. Cardiff City
15.00: Premier League, 15th vs. 10th: Norwich City vs. Hull City
15.00: Premier League, 17th vs. 8th: West Ham United vs. Newcastle United
17.30: Premier League, 4th vs. 11th: Liverpool vs. Aston Villa
18.45: Eredivisie, 11th vs. 3rd: PEC Zwolle vs. Vitesse
19.00: Paulistão, first match: Palmeiras vs. Linense
19.45: Serie A, 1st vs. 12th: Juventus vs. Sampdoria