The Daily Hilario: Monday football, Ballon d'Or disco

Ok, off to watch Sherlock.

In other news...

The changing demands of the modern full back | Guardian
Ostensibly, this article is about Ashley Cole and how he's older and crappier than he once was. All true and all supported by Sean Ingle's data-mining of various useful and not-so-useful stats. But ignoring the Opta nonsense of 'chances created' and any minor usefulness of 'pass completion,' the one truly interesting part is the data from ProZone, which claims that, on average, fullbacks do twice as many sprints these days as a decade ago, leaving less time for recovery in addition to simply having to exert more energy. The land of the full back is no country for an old man!

Seahawks restrict ticket sales to a six-state, two-province area | CBS Sports
Welcome to actual football rivalries, NFL! The overreactions to this have been hilarious around these parts. And speaking of the Seahawks, it looks like they caused an earthquake once again, just like three years ago.

Portland pimp sues Nike for making Jordans that can be used as a dangerous weapon | Oregonian
Coming soon to a warning label near you: "WARNING: In the event of curbstomping, these Jordans can be deadly, dangerous." (The whacko is representing himself, to be clear, and this will be thrown out at the first opportunity.)

Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad finally receive proper recognition | Golden Globes
Say my name. Heisenberg? You're goddamn right.

Disco's back | YouTube
I've had this song on repeat for the last 72 hours. You're welcome. And Kate Mara should remind you that House of Cards season 2 premieres on Valentine's Day.

FOOTBALL (all times GMT):
17.30: FIFA Ballon d'Or 2013 Gala (FIFA TV YouTube)
20.00: Premier League, 11th vs. 3rd: Aston Villa vs. Arsenal
21.00: La Liga, 6th vs. 5th: Villareal vs. Real Sociedad