If you were unlucky enough to not have to hang out in Napa Valley all day today and had to console yourself with some live Chelsea preseason football - preseason football that somehow carries with it a bit more, dare I say, meaning than years past - you will have no doubt experienced momentary confusion when David Luiz's name did not appear in the starting eleven vs. AC Milan. This then probably escalated to momentary panic when David Luiz's name did not appear among the substitutes either.
Since this is David Luiz we're talking about - David Luiz during preseason to be precise - three quick explanations should've popped into your head right away.
- He forgot his hair brush at the hotel.
- This Instagram has deep, deep meaning and you SHOULD be freaking out, man, for he is about to be sold because everything in the world is evil and horrible and smells like a gym bag.
- He picked up a late injury
It is fortunate that we have the lovely and fantastic Gigi Salmon working for Chelsea TV and she swiftly calmed the frayed nerves with a bit of emergency tactical Twitter deployment.
We could sum up Chelsea's preseason so far in two themes: being awesome and being careful. Kevin De Bruyne missed the Inter match as a precaution for a slight knock. Frank Lampard has missed most matches because of an Achilles niggle. André Schürrle's fever was no doubt handled with the utmost, if not too much, care. It only makes sense to manage David Luiz's slight knock in the exact same way, even if he is a bit behind in the preseason programme due to the Confederations Cup.
The timing of the injury is rather unfortunate though, especially because it will ensure yet another week of continuing David Luiz rumors in the tabloids. They've only been going on for the whole summer - presumably because José hates big hair or has stock in a rake-manufacturing company - so you think we'd be used to them by now. But just like the Juan Mata rumors, even if you know (hope?) that Chelsea simply couldn't be so impossibly daft as to sell, seeing the stories make the rounds plants just that tiny bit of annoying doubt and worry.
In the beginning of the summer, it helped that the rumored sale price was in the twenties of millions. Somewhat less laughable are the latest numbers thrown around, £45m from The Daily Mail just to pick out the latest. Besides being a fair bit of coin, that's a number that makes people pause and pay attention and perhaps worry anew.
But hopefully it's just a crafty agent fishing for a new contract - which is also known in the business as "doing a Sergio Ramos" - and hakuna matata, we get to continue to enjoy the life.
Get well soon, Sideshow Dave!