It was only a matter of time. After two years of Chelsea trials - proudly killing football since 2003 - Juan Mata has now officially joined the merry band of Worst Human Beings on Earth™.
It's no wonder. He's bravely resisted the corrupting influences of womanizing casual racists like John Terry, insensitive spoiled brats like Frank Lampard, violent gun enthusiasts like Ashley Cole, foreign baby-eaters like Branislav Ivanovic, child abusers like Eden Hazard, and straight-up psycho madmen like David Luiz. Until now.
As reported by the Woodwards and Bernsteins at Get Surrey:
Robert Manley, prosecuting, told Staines Magistrates' Court on Friday how Mata had been driving his Aston Martin car at around 2.30pm on December 4 last year down the A3 towards Hook.
'The Aston Martin activated the speed device on the A3. It was travelling at 63mph,' he said.
Magistrates convicted Mata, who was absent from the court, saying he must pay £200 in the next 14 days.
He is also required to pay £85 costs, a £60 victim surcharge...
After today, Juan Mata is truly Chelsea. Truly, one of us. Officially official. The victims of this egregious driving incident shall forever be remembered! Never forget. 63 in a 50! Off with his head!
But wait. Here's the best part.
...and will have three points put on his driving licence.
That's right. Even when breaking the law, Mata wins three points.