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Report: The John Obi Mikel to Galatasaray transfer rumor may actually be a real thing

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Worlds colliding, collapsing. Nothing makes sense anymore.

The ball's in your court, Mikel
The ball's in your court, Mikel
Ian Walton

I'm not entirely sure what to make of this, as my initial reaction was just to stare dumbfoundedly. In fact, I'm still just staring and these words are appearing just via telepathic magics.

In a bizarre twist, a Turkish newspaper called Sabah is carrying some quotes from John Obi Mikel this morning that leave very little doubt that his future may actually lie elsewhere. As in not at Stamford Bridge. As in, away from Chelsea. As in ... what the what?!

Sabah is the fifth largest newspaper in Turkey and I'm guessing that they didn't just make up an entire interview. And deep breath. Here we go:

"I'm very pleased with Galatasaray's offer."

"I asked Drogba for advice and he told me that Istanbul is a fantastic city, that Galatasaray is a huge club and that I have to make the move."

"I have played at Chelsea for a long time and it's now time for me to leave."

"Talks have reached an advanced level between Chelsea and Galatasaray. Chelsea won't make the move difficult and regarding my salary there won't be a problem."

"All that is left is for the clubs to reach an agreement."

-John Obi Mikel, Sabah via Turkish-Football.com

Somebody hold me! Is this real life? Nothing makes sense anymore.

Actually, I'm really, really, really, REALLY hoping that this just a hoax or somebody's overactive imagination and we all just fell for it. When was the last time a Chelsea player talked so much to the media about a potential transfer? And why would we sell the lynchpin of our midfield? Why would we sell the player that Chelsea and Jose Mourinho fought so hard to get in the first place?! Please let this be fake.