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Buying Wesley Sneijder would be the most incredibly useless way to waste £12.75 million

Wes has a calm, even sort of personality.
Wes has a calm, even sort of personality.
Claudio Villa

At this point, if it wasn't already obvious to you, I think we can all agree that we shouldn't implicitly trust any newspaper, magazine, or tabloid - or Twitter account! - with any transfer rumor or story. That being said, when they print actual quotes (of the non-fabricated variety) from a player, we at least have some solid ground under out feet.

With that in mind, here's British tabloid Metro, from Saturday morning:

"I moved here for a new culture and to get to know a new culture, and I can’t forget that."

"I have a good relationship with Mourinho and enjoyed working with them, but I love Istanbul and I owe a lot to Galatasaray."

-Wesley Sneijder, Metro

That's Wesley Sneijder, £12.75m-rated Wesley Sneijder, pouring some semi-cold water on rumors that he may be looking to join up with Jose Mourinho again. It's not a flat-out denial because that would be a silly thing for him to do, but it's pretty clear that he's not exactly jonesing for a move.

It's not exactly a surprising development either, considering that the 29-year-old attacking midfielder - in a style of and at a position for which we already have Juan Mata and Oscar and sometimes Eden Hazard and maybe Kevin de Bruyne and perhaps even Frank Lampard - often plays more like a 92-year-old and he did just arrive in Turkey six months ago. Also, I doubt his signature would be a welcome development by the vast majority of Chelsea fans and it would fly in the face of the club's recent switch in recruitment policy to favor younger, bolder, fresher talent.

Later that same Saturday...

Hark! What's this? A wild and anonymous source close to the Chelsea manager suddenly appears!

A source close to the Chelsea manager said: "Mourinho has asked Abramovich to get him Sneijder."

-Anonymous, Mirror

Anonymous once wrote Beowulf and the Gesta Hungarorum, then later took down some Internet websites, but I doubt this latest work in the Mirror will have any legacy beyond its 15 seconds of headline fame.

If Roman Abramovich wanted to waste £12.75m, he'd buy another mansion or a supersonic helicopter with a tractor beam or a fleet of feral petite giraffes. He would most definitely not but Wesley Sneijder. And if Jose Mourinho did actually suggest something as lame as this, then we should check to make sure he's not actually someone else hiding under a Mission Impossible-style face mask.

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