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Did you need another reason to hate Gareth Bale?

Gareth Cattermole

Gareth Bale's not a difficult player to dislike. Firstly, he's quite good, and he plays for a team that we can now (depressingly) regard as a direct rival. And he's good in an obnoxious, explosive way rather than the respectable silky-smoothness of, say, Luka Modric. Secondly, he's notorious for his diving, which is reasonably obnoxious. He doesn't even grin about it. And thirdly he does that stupid heart celebration all the time. Since he scores a lot.

I don't think there are many of you on the fence about Mr. Bale, but in case you had yet to be convinced that he's an evil monster who must be destroyed at all costs, there's this. Yes, Bale is trying to trademark his favourite celebration. Which a bunch of other players do. His plans appear to involve turning the hands-hearts-abomination into jewelry and clothing. The trademark even covers 'saddlery and whips', which is kind of frightening.

Anyway, long story short: Gareth Bale is evil and must be destroyed. Preferably before kickoff tomorrow. Your move, MI5.

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