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And now a report from the Department of Redundancy Department: Yossi Benayoun set to leave Chelsea in the summer

Surprise! Bet you weren't expecting this!

Here we see Benayoun's greatest contribution, the all-important number 10 that he gave to Juan Mata
Here we see Benayoun's greatest contribution, the all-important number 10 that he gave to Juan Mata
Chris Brunskill

If I wanted to stay perhaps I could, but I'm looking for a team where I can express myself more.

-Source: London Evening Standard

That's a funny joke there, about perhaps staying. Good one!

During his time as a player on Chelsea's books - which began on July 2, 2010 - Yossi Benayoun, the captain of the Israel national football team has made more appearances for London teams not named Chelsea than London teams actually named Chelsea. To be fair, there are far more London teams not named Chelsea than London teams actually named Chelsea, so I'm sure it was a bit of an uphill battle each night to find a park bench located in the proper geographic area.

As he wondered about the city aimlessly, uselessly ... homelessly ... Benayoun collected a rather hefty paycheck. He repaid this generosity by scoring more goals for London teams not named Chelsea than London teams actually named Chelsea. Presumably, this also applies for assists. You're welcome, Arsenal. Consider it your consolation pity prize - yes, go ahead, call it a trophy if you'd like - for being too cheap to fork up a few extra pennies for Ashley Cole, while your owners and manager swam around in your towers filled with coins and treasures.

But I digress.

So Benayoun's been pretty much a non-Chelsea player while being a Chelsea player, and now he's leaving Chelsea to be a non-Chelsea player while actually not being a Chelsea player. Progress like that is sure to bring him lots of success in all his future endeavors!

Where to next for our favorite Hobo who's turning 34 on Sunday?

Agents are talking about offers from America, Spain, Russia and England, but there’s nothing concrete at the moment.

-Source: London Evening Standard

I heard there's a slow boat leaving for the MLS soon. You mustn't miss it. Now shoo.

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