Sitting here in my brand new luxurious track pants, the 52-48% combination of warp-knitted polyester and cotton cradling me like a river of feathers, I cast my eyes over Saturday's Premier League schedule and well ... yeah. Not so much.
It's a bit of a dire offering, with most of the big boys playing only on Sunday. Is there an Arsenal joke hidden in here somewhere?
That being said, I'm sure most of us will watch Le Zippers as they attempt to tame the mythical beast of LUKAKU. The Belgian has three goals in his last two "home" matches (home is in quotes because his true home is Chelsea, right? RIGHT?!), so good luck HMS Mertesacker (see because he's big & slow and has a huge turning radius), et al.
The two other matches in the traditional 3 P.M. slot are Norwich vs. Swansea and Stoke vs. Villa. And moving on.
Before the LUKAKU show, we'll get the Nigel Adkins charity event: Miles of Smiles. In his first home match as Reading's new manager, Adkins will get to test his mettle against the team, which rewarded his excellent draw at Stamford Bridge with a swift kick out the door. Sometimes you just couldn't write a better script. Reading of course are bottom of the league but a win here could keep hope alive.