A view from the enemy: Liverpool fan on Torres, Rafa and Mata.

What sort of reception do you believe that Torres and Benitez will receive at Anfield?

Neutral to annoyed for the former and very, very sentimental for the latter. I'll get to this in the next question, but I'm don't feel much of anything regarding Torres anymore, and most--at least in our community--feel similarly. As for Rafa, the away support at Wigan was probably a good indication of what you can expect, just on steroids. There's plenty that wanted him back after Kenny Dalglish was dismissed, and there's plenty that would like him to take over at season's end. I'm all sorts of whatever about it, but there's no question that Anfield will relish the opportunity to celebrate his return.

Do you feel sorry for Torres or do you enjoy watching him suffer in a Chelsea shirt?

At this point I really do feel sorry for him. He's obviously earned criticism and critique, but a lot of what was directed his way just seemed downright mean. For the first year he was with Chelsea I was terrified that he'd score against Liverpool, and I probably will be on Sunday, though for now I'm not too concerned. Currently it's just terrific fun to entertain the notion that he'll only ever be good again if he wears a mask--if this were baseball there'd be no question that he'd wear it for the rest of his career.

If you could have one or two players from Chelsea, who would you take?

I'd love to have Oscar, both because he's got immense potential and the fact that he'd combine with Joe Allen to form the most adorable midfield twosome in European football. Also Juan Mata, because Juan Mata. The summer that he moved to Chelsea there was a lot of talk about him maybe coming to Liverpool, which probably would have worked out really well under Dalglish. We managed to convince ourselves it was a possibility, but that's only because Liverpool supporters are a population particularly vulnerable to folie à deux.

What do you think of Chelsea in general as a club?

I'm disconnected from having any authentic feeling about them other than the occasional chuckle at the managerial circus. The rivalry was fun a few years ago, and it's been nice to see Liverpool get better results in league over the past few seasons. And like I said above, when Torres first moved--and Meireles, to some extent--I really loathed Chelsea and was terrified of what they'd achieve. Now I mostly shrug my shoulders, which isn't necessarily a reaction specific to them. Liverpool--feel the excitement!

If you ask me on Sunday, though, I'll probably cuss at you a lot and set my computer on fire.

Who should be to blame for Chelsea's poor season?

Hahaha, "poor season." Some people have real problems. Seriously though, FA Cup semi-final, Europa League semi-final, fourth in league with a game in hand over Arsenal. I get the whole "we're Chelsea our standards are better than this and ragerageragerage" deal, but potentially third in league with a chance at European silverware (or at least finely finished aluminium foil on cardboard) looks pretty good from where Liverpool are sitting.

Also, you, me, Abramovich, Rafa, Di Matteo, Terry, Lampard, North Korea, and Pep Guardiola. Not necessarily in that order.

Who would you rather have; Rodgers or Benitez?

They can just have a joint press conference, and whoever gets ridiculed less can have the job. References to rants or invoking the spirit of David Brent count double because ORIGINALITY.

Do you miss the days when Liverpool and Chelsea used to play each other in massive games nearly every season?

Absolutely, because Liverpool were relevant then. Recently everything's been pretend-massive outside of the derby and matches against Manchester United, which isn't a whole lot of fun.

And finally, how do you see the game going and what will the score be?

Think Liverpool will start like gangbusters, fail to score, maybe hit the post or spurn a couple of good chances, Chelsea probably steal one just before the half, Liverpool panic, maybe get a goal or two, then panic more, then the match is wide open, then Brendan Rodgers only uses one of his substitutes, Torres does something that people react to, and supporters chant about Rafa lots.

0-0.