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Arsenal closes the book on another successful European season / Lucas Piazon Champions League Open Thread

99 problèmes, zéro trophées.

Mike Stobe

Outside of sleeping, eating, and driving, I've spent the last 12 hours listening to one song, endlessly looping. Repeating. Replaying. It's called Masamune Problems and it's a mashup (hey kids, mashups* are still around!) of Jay-Z and the soundtrack to Chrono Trigger. So that's about one listen to for each of the 99 problems that Shawn Carter's got. There's a whole album of this, but this one song is the Bayern Munich of the offering - head and shoulders well above the rest.

Let's reemphasize that last point: Bayern Munich are absolutely and irresistibly ridiculous. It is now clear that the events of May 19th have angered the football gods to no end - for the universe had fallen out of balance; fixing it required swift, deific, decisive action. And so a plague of a thousand interim rafatations has been unleashed on Chelsea as punishment, while Bayern have been infused with the strength of a thousand Schweinsteiger-unicorn-tears as well as all the future Guardiolas as reward.

Now, if the wanton destruction of Arsenal sounds just a bit too graphic (although only a few zippers were harmed, I assure you), there's always the wholesome entertainment of one Lucas Piazon and Malaga, who look to overcome a 1-0 defeat in Portugal to FC Porto. Or, there's the entirely harmless (football-like substance optional!) FA Cup replay of miserable midtable Championship sides Blackburn Rovers and Millwall - the winner may even have a decent chance of getting to the final thanks to that lovely Wigan draw.


* as far as I'm concerned, mashups went out of style with Danger Mouse's Grey Album (and specifically What More Can I Say) - it simply doesn't get better than that

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