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Spin the transfer rumor bottle: Diego Costa for Courtois swap?

The Mirror play a game wherein everybody wins. Except common sense.

I mean, can you ever really trust another human being, Greg?
I mean, can you ever really trust another human being, Greg?
Gonzalo Arroyo Moreno

Welcome to the eye of the hurricane.  Earlier on Saturday, Mario Balotelli rumors blasted through our lives, taking every unsecured emotion, flighty hope, and winged dream and stirring them up into one big jumbled mess.  Later this Sunday, win or lose (or draw), Chelsea vs. Liverpool will surely put us through the wringer (but certainly more so if Mourinho's home unbeaten streak ends, too).

So what are we to do in this moment of calm?  Should we talk about the amazing meat pie that my wife made out of Christmas turkey leftovers?  Or perhaps discuss how MUSE's latest concert video (Live at Rome's Olimpico) compares to the gold standard HAARP Wembley video?  Or play spin the bottle?  Actually, how about we let the Mirror do that for us with their fancy transfer rumor bottle, recently promoted to top article generator after the monkey with a dartboard got fed up with his unpaid internship.

Chelsea set to be offered transfer swap of Diego Costa or Koke for Thibaut Courtois.

It's like a rumor mill buy-one-get-one free sale.  No need to write separate stories about Courtois and Costa, let's just combine the two!  It makes so much sense!  Thank you, fancy transfer rumor bottle!  That monkey was a jerk anyway; he kept throwing things at everybody and stealing our lunch moneys.

What I never get is why papers keep coming up with random swap deal rumors.  This isn't America, there are no blockbuster trades in football.

As far as this rumor, letting go quite possibly a once-in-a-generation goalkeeping talent for a striker who's had one-half season of excellence sounds like the worst idea ever.  Clearly this pre-silly season Sunday special is pure rubbish and I probably wouldn't post about it normally, but I wanted to take my mind off Liverpool so here it is anyway.  Hope it was as good for you as it was for me.

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