It's nearly here, like a Doctor Who regeneration. The clock is striking 14, 13th time is over. 2013, that is.
We've got one more matchday before the New Year brings yet another; we play tomorrow, most others play today.
First up, it's a crucial battle to decide which West is worse: West Ham or West Brom. Plot twist: it's Kanye West! No no, I kid. I love Kanye. He paints beautiful canvases filled with controversies and attention-seeking, kind of like Bob Ross used to paint happy little trees and fluffy happy clouds. Kickoff's at 7:45am EST on NBCSN.
Following immediately after (10am EST), it's Manchester City vs. Crystal Palace, which may just end up 15-0 to the home side. You'll be able to witness the destruction on NBCSN, while Aston Villa vs. Swansea City, Hull City vs. Fuham, and Norwich City vs. Manchester United get relegated to Premier League Extra Time or online watching.
The late game is Cardiff City vs. Sunderland (12:30pm EST), which sounds about as inspiring as the rest of today's matchups. So, not very. In fact, 10 of the 12 teams in action today are in the Premier League table's bottom half. So that's a bit crap; better get a fresh supply of bloody marys!