Death by a Thousand Missed Shots: Chelsea 'kill' Mourinho every game

Wherein Jose's one of us, exhibit #234613:

"They kill me every game. Every game I am tired at the end."

-Jose Mourinho

They being the Chelsea strikers of course - who "always give something to the team," to be fair, but usually not goals.  The Chelsea official website spun this as a comment with a smile, but judging from the video posted by The Daily Mail, it was much more of a scoff than anything else.  A wry smile, a shake of the head: it's as if I were looking in the mirror while watching* Eto'o, Torres, and Ba fluff their chances with alarmingly continuing regularity.

According to WhoScored, Chelsea have taken 305 shots in the Premier League this season.  Manchester City have taken 315.

"I didn't even get excited about that chance."

-Graham MacAree

Graham died in the 50th minute.

* Ever tried watching football in a mirror?  Cesar Azpilicueta is an amazing left back!

As usual, Mourinho doled out plenty of praise where it was due and that included the man who left his shooting boots somewhere in Russia.  The manager was very happy with Eto'o's link-up play, overall "participation," and the hustle he showed in closing-down Swansea players all the way to the final whistle.  David Luiz and Juan Mata received specific mentions as well, but the biggest accolades were reserved for the match winner himself.

"He gave everything and so I'm happy. His last action in the game was defending our box to stop the progress of their left back. The kid was exhausted. He plays a high-intensity game and I needed a fresh player."

-Jose Mourinho; source: Daily Mail

Rest up, Mr. Hazard, we're going to need you at the Garden of Eden again on Sunday.

One player who's not going to be there on Sunday is Ramires: the midfield dynamo picked up his fifth yellow card of the season and will thus be suspended for one match.  Mourinho chose to put a positive spin on this as well - "it means against Southampton he is fresh" - but it wasn't exactly the best idea on Ramires's part.  Then again, as the man who leads the Premier League with 35 fouls, we shouldn't be surprised at his poor timing.