I've received one request for an open thread, so if nobody comments here, spazzkay will be banned for wasting my precious, precious resources. And by resources I mean kicking back with my feet up, a bottle of beer in one hand, my other hand down my pants because it's flipping freezing in this house, and watching Roma vs. Napoli (2:45pm EDT; beIN Español, RAI International, DishWorld / beIN Play - 19:45 BST; BT Sport 1).
FERRIS SPAZZKAY. Comment away!
If the Italian persuasion is not your style - it's only first versus second; no biggie - there's also a decent match in the Bundesliga as mid-table Hoffenheim host in-form Leverkusen (who are keeping pace with Dortmund and Bayern!). Do it for the Schürrle! This one starts 15 minutes earlier, 2:30pm EDT; GolTV - 19:30 BST; BT Sport 2)
And if you really want to stretch things, France has fourth place Marseille away to sixth place Nice (2:30pm EDT; beIN Sport - 19:30 BST; ESPN UK). I've been to Nice once. It was very ... nice. You won't find quality jokes like that anywhere else on the Internet. No sirreebob.
Above all, remember that you're playing with spazzkay's commenting life. This is a question of commenting-life or commenting-death. He's counting on all you foolios! Don't let him down!